andrvw: a cool rap song idea. the rapper (artist) Raps about how he much weed he smokes, babes he fucks, and money he makes. It’s crazy but i think it could work
normal person: so what do you like to do
me: go on the internet
normal person: oh, that's neat, i like going on the internet too
me: no you don't understand
you guys i opened a door to let the dogs out and a fucking spider ran across my foot inside and then i was screaming and my mom dropped a plastic bowl on it to not let it run away and then it fUCKING GAVE BIRTH ON THE FLOOR IN THE BOWL AND THEN WE WERE BOTH SCREAMING WHAT DO I DO ITS STILL IN THE BOWL AND ITS JUST HAVING MORE BABIES FUCK IT DROPPED MORE BABIES MY DADS LIKE GASSING...
burntoutgrace: theyellowbrickroad: have u ever wondered what a dolphin penis looked like now u know it looks like a mother fucking pigeon
ibetmittromney: I bet Mitt Romney’s hips not only lie, but do so compulsively.
amyerikapond: is it too early in the school year for a mental breakdown yet
ctoons: Halloween costumes for men mildly offensive penis joke Halloween costumes for women sexy cheerleader sexy police officer sexy Mario sexy Santa sexy Halloween costumes for kids Dracula werewolves bloody skeletons zombies Michael Myers Hannibal fucking Lecter
2treehill: idk about u guys but i literally cant pee in a public bathroom unless there is no one in there
Nvm, got it.
domics: How do you
avataralphonse: I only weighed 8 pounds when I was born look at me now I really let myself go
i don’t give blowjobs i give blowcareers
some people look really good in pictures but then not in real life some people look really good in real life and not in pictures i look really good behind a brick wall.
borles: i could do my homework or i could set myself on fire
professionalbootysnatcher: theres so many people in this world i’d love to punch square in the fact that even if i punched one every day i wouldn’t be able to hit them all before i die
mnastynastynasty: If she makes you a CD, she wants to C the D.
emporbooty: gamblingemperor: emporbooty: gamblingemperor: 1324 FOLLOWERS IM LAUGHING SO HARD ITS IN ORDER 1324 is not in order Matt ITS 2 AM AND IM NOT EVEN GOOD AT SCIENCE IN THE FIRST PLACE Science
draqgueens: a life without pasta is a life i wouldnt want to live
lolsofunny: Girls who post pictures of actors with other women and comment “Get off my man, bitch”. via lolsofunny=)
overdosed: all my friends are taken and then there’s me the single one the one who has to sit there and listen to them talk about their dates with their boyfriends and everything sigh
Due to the high number of wasteful lives in the...
kevinskidney: wirelesswaffle: asgardianarmy: the-hat-needs-magic: lovelycheshire: staticsrecyclebin: martincrieffsbakedpotato: moxiearien: chicken-in-a-basket: tbkultracombo: galacticenkidulga: hahah this is Bullsh— >looks at source no questions asked welp better safe than sorry Source: god Well, I guess I have to reblog dat source XD ^THIS
tltty: yall are Burger King & i’m Mcdonalds
holyhearts: i lose everything else why can’t i lose weight
frowninglessons: there is so many things that i really should be doing so why do i insist on staying on tumblr for excessive amounts of time i don’t understand
andrewbreitel: are you made of fluorine and silver? because you’re a
kurtlikescock: kurtlikescock: kurtlikescock: ew there’s a bug on my television. i’m gonna squish it. got it.
professionalbootysnatcher: everyones excited to try and win gishwhes to have a slumber party with misha and like im sure it would be great and all but youre going to have to shit at some point also what if diarrhea you’ll forever be known as the kid who had diarrhea in a haunted scottish castle “lmao jensen there was this one chick she took a four hour shit and when she left she and the room...
most-awkward-moments: Suddenly becoming interested in going with your parents after finding out they have friends with hot kids “so what time do we leave?”
professionalbootysnatcher: im watching that episode of supernatural where Sam and Dean hunt a serial killer demon they exorcised a while back and my computer froze on this image oh my god wat are you doing guise thats not cool in the library guise rly thats just sick